Friday, September 16, 2022

Learning to accept tough situations in life

No one ever promised that life would be fair. In fact, life is often unfair.
Thus, after saying so many times this to many to other people, I am writing it down (again!) so to remember what have learned about how to go through tough situations in life. 

It is never easy or solved by using a single formula. So, here I am once again. Saying it out laud. Repeat. Writing it as many times as needed. Repeat.  

1. Acknowledge the situation
Sometimes denial is what happens when in face of a tough situation. 
However, the longer the problem is avoid, the longer it will take to address it. So, acknowledge the situation, regardless of how I feel about. When changing the situation is not possible, acknowledging it is helpful to move on.

2. Develop a plan
Many times I have learned that there are more options than I might have think. 
Spending time thinking about how to respond to a tough situation - even when is impossible to fix it - has help me to develop a plan to cope with it. 

3. Seek for help 
Asking for help is a sign of strength and courage. Not being afraid to ask for help is key - whether some practical help, like a friend to proofread a resume, or emotional support from family. I have learned not to expect others to know what I need - sometimes they don't even know if I need something as they suppose me strong enough to deal with all.

4. Changing what you can
Identify what is within my control. 
When fired because of a boss that was unfair, it takes sometime to dwelling with anger. But it is important not to waste too much time on that and instead, taking action and beginning applying for new jobs. The sooner the better.

5. Identifying what you can’t change
Imposing my self not to waste time and energy trying to change things I can’t change.  
I can’t change anyone and I can’t change past. 
Even if I believe one is entitled to spend time thinking about the past or even wishing things were different- at a certain given moment enough is enough. 
Accept the situation is unfair and tough. It's shitty. Don’t pretend it’s not. 
But don’t waste more time on that. Accept and move forward. 

6. Developing skills to deal with feelings
Just because one acknowledges a situation that is unfair, doesn’t mean it won’t hurt. Dealing with sadness, anger, frustration, and disappointment is tough.
Coping with all difficult feelings is key. Taking care of the mind, body and soul. 
Eat healthy, doing exercise, sleeping and resting. Strategies to deal with complex feelings - from therapeutic help, time with loved ones, writing and participating in fun activities are core components of the healing process.

7. Focus on the gain
Something good can come out of even the worst situations. If not, 
having survived a tough situation is already a gain. Perhaps becoming stronger or maybe, simply learning a valuable life lesson. Whatever it is, it is a learning experience that will probably help some way later in life.




No comments:

Post a Comment